The Black Box.

The 3lack 3ox contained some journal notes, all hastily written into my phone.  When I read those notes I was surprised! I discovered that it had been the Brian Thorne incident that had caused me to seriously consider recording our sessions. I had thought it was being called a minx. I also thought that I'd recorded the 'Thorne' session.  Now I understand why this isn't the case. But way back in February 2021 when he raised an eyebrow, looking directly at me and said....... ....my response, after the rippling shock waves had passed through me and beyond, was to question and doubt   my behaviour , not his.  It was the Brian Thorne disagreement four months later that actually enabled me to doubt him . At the time, or rather during that session, I was so blindsided by the energy of his disagreement! I had no idea what pulled him away from the subject of should there be or not be a governing body who decides what qualifications a person must have to be a therapist ...

I began this blog with the intention of making sense sense of what had happened to me during therapy. I listened to all my sessions - which I'd recorded - and I set about publishing the transcripts here, when the therapist - Kit - refused to acknowledge that what had happened during therapy, though no rules were broken, though he had done nothing wrong, had nevertheless left me feeling suicidal. Underlying this is my question; what is it that makes rules that are maintained to 'protect' the client, sometimes so damaging? In October 2023 I decided to take this a whole step further - I set out my intention to explore the role of Eros in therapy, and more importantly how therapists can navigate their own fears and sense of vulnerability when Eros becomes the third party in the therapy session. The question now turns towards power dynamics, how can a client - who already feels vulnerable, recovering from horrible life events, unsure of themselves, identity already damaged - rai...

I'm on the bus in an hour. Back to work in a town famed for its connections with racism after a week off. The charity I'm working for is like a beacon of kindness, and tolerance, in a sea of bullying that seems to start with teachers in the schools, and ends up as kids too scared to leave their homes, terrified of other kids, talking to a counsellor on the phone.  Of course, the teachers and parents are bullied too - then what goes around comes around, it isn't good.  I don't even think it is racism in particular, as the population is monochrome...its a culture, a part of this town. I am actually quite wary when leaving work in the evening. I guess our liberal attitudes to race, gender and sexuality are tolerated because we hand out free condoms? Everyone understands condoms. When I took the bus the other way to the city, many clients were like the kids in the small town; unable to leave the house, feeling bullied at work. Usually they were on their second round of doct...

So, I've woken up in the middle of the night determined to delete this blog so many times!  Usually I revert all the posts to drafts so they will be unavailable, and then I find the courage from somewhere to un-draft them.  What causes my discomfort? There are five grave errors a therapist must not commit. To proceed in working with clients, whilst not having the skills, knowledge and character to work safely and effectively.  To fail to behave in a way that safeguards public safety and maintains confidence in the psychotherapy profession.  To be dishonest.  Behave in a way that causes harm or distress to a client.  Breach client confidentiality I'm unsure about 2. To fail to behave in a way that safeguards public safety and maintains confidence in the psychotherapy profession. Am I doing this? I think I am highlighting a glitch in therapy, seeking out the cause and effect of factor X. I'm doing it in public because whatever factor X turns out to be, I beli...

After putting the recordings of sessions through his door. After facing it (a toxic brew of loss, grief, incredulity and outrage) through transcribing the sessions, then seeking some way to sort this out before publishing - the next part of this process , this blog is to distil the lessons into something useful. The next set of posts will be my exploration of ideas! So what is therapy?  Basically therapy is a conversation during which one person needing to create a better state of mind, talks with another about their state of mind, their life, their hopes and fears with a view to understanding what has happened to them, to understand their own reactions and to start to feel better. The other person, as Carl Rogers explained, is able and willing to navigate their own states of mind, to show empathy, and able to regard other people. no matter what they have done or experienced, with the utmost respect and kindness. Another level is added by Steve de Shazer - after Wittgenstein - w...

I think it might be important to write something about therapy, to make my bias clear. Therapy has a very strange and unscientific foundation. Traditionally our role is shaman or showman (the only real difference between the two are the cultural beliefs underpinning the performance) for both are authentic and resolutely serious roles in their own way. It was Carl Rogers - following Jung - who introduced the notion that therapy isn't complicated, that healing occurs when one person is truly hearing and accepting another, and providing a safe space for that other, to speak openly and honesty.  Certainly Jungian theory seems complicated, but underneath it all Jung honoured his patient's process. He found significance and meaning in their words, he didn't pathologize. Also, despite Jung's love of the deep, and of 'depth psychology' and though symbols can be read ontologically (by asking what category of thing is this) Jungian psychology is also epistemological. The ...