Falling in love with one's therapist... the crash report.
With trepidation...
Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps
Not sure where I'm going with this, so I will just write and see..
Someone pointed me in the direction of Kendra, a woman who posted a succession of films about falling in love with her psychiatrist.
I've only watched two YouTubes about her story so far - one from an expert in AI who was commenting mostly on how the 'magic mirror' quality of LLMs can reinforce error, as Kendra took to talking to two AIs about what happened. And the other YouTube is from a Dr in Seattle.
Briefly, Kendra's story begins this way:
Kendra believes that her psychiatrist had feelings for her, and 'bread crumbed' her into staying in therapy with him for four years. But what if all the usual questions about boundaries and ethical conduct fail to address the real issue that underlies the problem? What If the psychiatrist acted in the best and most ethical way and despite all good intentions the outcome was a problem?
What if everything was right?
So, what went wrong?
Could there be a problem with the interpretation of what constitutes ethical behaviour in therapy?
The assessments made by the people in the videos, focused on only two questions:
Was Kendra deluded or not - Blame the client.
Was the psychiatrist's behaviour ethical or not - Blame the therapist.
They are reasonable questions and yet, as I try to understand this story I keep hearing this phrase in my mind, the operation was a success but the patient died.
The only things I am sure of is that:
Kendra believes she experienced "weaponized neutrality"..
The Dr in Seattle didn't accept Kendra's term: weaponized neutrality. Because neutrality is seen as neither good nor bad. The only thing the Dr was concerned about was physical contact. My argument is that deprivation of information, the neutrality much favoured by those of a psychodynamic modality in particular , but it isn't confined to them, can be harmful.
Epistemic injustice: neutrality can be a withholding of information purposefully and intentionally, to maintain an unequal power dynamic.
Epistemic injustice destroys informed consent. Hence Kendra's view that her psychiatrist was withholding information to keep her hooked and paying him.
People associate the term catfishing with complex narratives designed to create an alternative reality. And catfishing fits Kendra's narrative. Withholding critical information keeps the client swimming, trying, trying harder to get to the truth, trying, trying harder to prove what a good match they are, trying, trying so hard to make something meaningful out of some gesture or word that could be interpreted as significant if the ambiguous hoped for context is true.
Then when it is all over, having been so powerless it feels safer to tell ourselves that uncomfortable details don't matter. Self blaming, self attack often follow.
In my case, Kit's refusal to talk about his feelings, and indeed blushing when I asked him directly to be more open with me, certainly didn't do me any good! As much as I understand the constraints of the profession, at some point there needs to be more openness about the fact that therapy techniques such as neutrality, certainly act in the same way as a prejudicial denying of information.
A Bell Sings In Your Head by The Shining Tongues Almost the Solstice . Imagine the force of the sun, like a bow wave of life drawn deeper into the earth. The sun, so weak, now unable to rise high enough to give us a day. Yet this descent rejuvenates the earth and in return some force from the earth empowers the sun. Imbolc is the first real sign in the quality of light that darkness is receding - a cold and righteous sea, hissing like a nest of snakes, pulled by the moon to the outer shore. Soon the light will return and the days frosted in silver gain a cold clarity. But for now, there is a mixing, a cross-pollinating, it is the solstice. Winter Solstice memories include knowing without a shadow of a doubt that my husband had begun 'sleeping' with her. So called 'flashbulb' memories; his body language, the taste of treachery. The feeling as of a blade entering my heart, and, how each time I asked for truth I was lied to. Still bleeding psychically from this wound, ...
The something took place on Wednesday. I drove to the most godawful town I've ever had the misfortune to visit. And it was obvious that no one should stop there. Zero street parking. A car park with no visible entrance was my first problem, almost as if you had to be someone who knows the secret door, no strangers allowed. I mean, Innsmouth . I should have taken the bus to get the full effect! With minutes to spare before the dreaded s omething , I found a parking bay and fed the machine some coins. No way to pay by card. The air was so cold, I was seeing snow. I never, ever want to be there ever again as long as I live! I've seen this in others, the people sent to see me who take counselling as the final insult. My heart breaks for them. And now I know exactly how they feel. And the godawful town, made me think of a colleague whose misfortune it was to work here, how she was offered all sorts of interesting opportunities when she accepted the job. But the job tu...
I'm still ill. Almost phoned for an ambulance yesterday. That bad, difficulty breathing in. But, got through. So, here I am. Morning routine. Three rounds of Wim Hof , following a brief panic about the wording of my insurance. Realised again that interviewed under caution isn't the same as being under caution. But I need this in writing. Verbal wasn't enough to stick in my cautious mind. So, Wim Hof, then good coffee - which I can't taste due to my COVID like, non COVID. Sitting outside, soaking up the blue of the sky, the good green around me. Listening to: Lemanis by Spaceslug Next comes the cold shower of course. Breakfast... Then I'm as done as I can be. And today? All clients cancelled because I can't talk, only cough. Many thoughts. What to do with today, how to navigate a safe encounter with the hurt and rage that bubbles under fear and compassion. I heard someone talking to Huberman about idiot compassion ...my understanding came from Trungpa ...
Comments
Post a Comment