Complaint.

The form is filled in, and posted. It doesn't contain names or details. Simply a request that my case is assessed, and I'm given advice on what will happen if I proceed with the complaint. 

The rules are, that you can only expect a therapist's ethical body to investigate a complaint about the things a therapist has done while they were (and still are) a member of that specific ethical body. 

And the complaint must be made within three years.

It has been longer than three years.

The therapist changed his ethical body. 

And my complaint is, that the therapist has not responded to my victim statement. 

The longer than three years could invalidate my complaint. But surely when a therapist doesn't respond to a client's request for an apology, surely that is pretty serious.

Silence looks like denial, and no one thinks that ghosting is a good way to communicate. But, as I have said previously, my mind is still weaving a 100 and 1 excuses for him, and I'm still feeling that I'm being unfair. 

Meanwhile the sane part of me is pretty sure that most adults would understand why the therapist avoiding answering any questions about his real feelings was so similar to my husband's way of belittling, and undermining my confidence and trust. 

To have received another dose of it from a therapist - I'm not surprised it almost destroyed me!

I posted the complaint form anonymously, and if I get a reply saying that they think he has a case to answer my next decision is, do I pass on his name and address? After saying that I would never do that...

My conclusion has been, so many times already, that a formal complaint does no good. I want mediation. I think if mediation is possible, then all anonymity will be dropped.

We will just have to wait and see...

Do I think that I've done the right thing by sending the complaint? Overall, yes. I'd advise a client who had gone through something similar to make the complaint official because otherwise we are saying that bad practice doesn't matter, or that it wasn't as bad as it was...

But it really was...

Pretending otherwise is condoning what happened.

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