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Intermission.

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I'm still ill. Almost phoned for an ambulance yesterday. That bad, difficulty breathing in. But, got through. So, here I am. Morning routine. Three rounds of Wim Hof , following a brief panic about the wording of my insurance. Realised again that interviewed under caution isn't the same as being under caution. But I need this in writing. Verbal wasn't enough to stick in my cautious mind. So, Wim Hof, then good coffee - which I can't taste due to my COVID like, non COVID. Sitting outside, soaking up the blue of the sky, the good green around me. Listening to: Lemanis by Spaceslug Next comes the cold shower of course. Breakfast... Then I'm as done as I can be.  And today? All clients cancelled because I can't talk, only cough. Many thoughts. What to do with today, how to navigate a safe encounter with the hurt and rage that bubbles under fear and compassion. I heard someone talking to Huberman about idiot compassion ...my understanding came from Trungpa ...
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The 3lack 3ox.

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26th January 2024. It is difficult to explain how powerless I still feel about this situation. I can't think for the life of me what empowered could mean. Again I'm struck by the uselessness of understanding . I understand the reasons for the crash. Worse, I also understand what I could have done right - that is a hard thing to deal with! I also understand the truth of the idea - that what I'm not changing I'm choosing . But empowered?  I can't get to an understanding of that at all! I simply don't have a clue. Right now I'm working on The Black-Box .   As close a thing to a real black box as I can imagine, putting the pages I wrote last year together to be stored here as this blog. Does doing this make me feel empowered?  No.  As Huberman said, " Anxiety makes children of us all " . Kit would explain to me how he would recognise and speak to the Child in his clients; and this was something I always found hard to take. Not least because his res...
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How to complain about a counsellor or psychotherapist?

1. Find out which ethical body oversees their work, and go to their website. Examples: UKCP BACP 2. Fill in the complaint form . 3. Attach evidence to that form... So basically, as soon as I walked out of therapy, my next stop after asking myself why I wont be dead as a result of what has happened - should have been initiating a complaint. The reasons why it didn't happen rest within the complaint process itself. And in how I personally think of complaints. Add the way the therapist had handled minor 'ruptures' - with defence; telling me that I'd misunderstood him - and then going on to repeat what he'd meant me to understand. The problem is: I am not the only person who has been accidentally silenced by the complaint procedure. Nor am I the only complainant who has been reported to the police. No surprise then when I tell you that I believe that the complaint procedure itself needs to be resolved. I'm not alone in discovering that if you complain to your thera...
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