Informative appearances...

Well this is so strange. 

And I'm going to interpret and play.

Ten minuites ago I saw a photograph of the therapist. 

A new photo, a recent photo. 

And, the shock! 

I laughed.

A lot.

What happened?

A Gregor Samsa metamorphosis must have over come him. He wakes each morning to find that he has become someone else. The mirror reflects the truth; that his spirit, his soul has been poured into a physical container that looks exactly like a psychotherapist he has repeatedly expressed a loathing for.

And this change has grown over time, it was slow, and not over night. Unlike poor Gregor! And this change could have been stopped. Instead he has allowed it, fed it, groomed it! Enabling him to enact  'I don't like the person I see in the mirror'...Or that person and I we are the same...He looks, exactly, EXACTLY like a psychotherapist who he had described as a thug; as a person who provokes arguments, a person with a 'heart of granite'.

Oh, interpretation is too easy, too obvious!

But there is plenty justice in it.

And the effect on me? Well clearly I am surprised. Shocked! The physical similarities between he and Perls is obvious. I don't understand why a person would physically transform themselves to look like someone they don't like. So I read it as literally true, he is more Perls than Perls ever was (reaction formation/ enantiodromia / call it anything you like!) I feel vindicated. During our sessions he spoke of disliking Perls, of never being like him during therapy. But he was, or rather he was the Perls of his imagination - hence I'm vindicated.

Like Circe, did I turn him into Perls?

Did he pick up from me that only someone like Perls would be a good enough therapist for me, and he felt miffed? Is this why he felt that 'nothing he could say was right?' And in the end he enacted the horrible man he described Perls as? 

Perls was always his shadow of course, a consequence of needing to be squeaky clean and perfect. Behind the bright face, the shadow therapist, the bad therapist who tries to kill his client's career. After going to the police station to seal my fate, his nice therapist persona shattered, because the nice therapist never was - yup, that was my experience - and now he has to wear his face!

Penitence.

Too weird, but hey, why not!



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