Eros and other Anomalous materials.

There is in many of us, obviously, a deep-seated desire to assent to extraterrestrial forces – to be embraced by them, overwhelmed by them, and if possible deprived by them of our own weary responsibility for ourselves. ​— ​“HICCUPS FROM OUTER SPACE”: RUSSELL DAVIES, REVIEWING CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, IN THE OBSERVER, MARCH 19, 1978 Vallee, Jacques. Messengers of Deception: UFO Contacts and Cults (p. 32). 

Eros is deeply, deeply irrational, and traditionally understood as a yearning for the sublime. A chalice of wonder and bliss we can't ignore. 

And so we seek the outer to ignite the inner...

The quote from Russell Davies made me think. About the sublime. About Eros. About yearning. And I'd not considered how powerful people's yearnings for "The space brothers" a faith in salvation from above, can be - until I read Messengers of Deception .

The space brothers, those benevolent and wise aliens, are a symbol. A yearning for wisdom rich, anomalous saviours from beyond to sweep down and save us from ourselves. A hope that there is something more than ourselves to save us from the horror engines of war. 

For some reason the simple logic that war is mass murder. And that war is something we are responsible for isn't a notion we are happy to believe. The truth is simple. If we do something else, we don't do war. 

But when we face up to the truth of how powerless we are as individuals to stop it - some people theorize that a trust in external salvation could act to unite us... 

Unfortunately this wont be me.

I've never felt that way about UAPs. 

I was vaguely interested in UAPs when I had some probable poltergeist thing, I got annoyed with it for the way it behaved and told it to use words! I got out the tarot. I used Runes. I have no idea what it was or is. If it is still in my home we now get on fine. 

And my single UFO experience was of looking up and seeing what looked like a peddle bin in the sky and my mind said, 'oh, must be Google'! I suspect - if we are going to invest such things with telepathy - that UAPs know that I'm not easily impressed! I kept watching and realised that it was probably much bigger than a peddle bin. And it kind of hovered about a bit and then suddenly accelerated up beyond the clouds. I guess it was a tic-tac? and probably pretty big.

But hey, as with the poltergeist, nothing sublime in UAPs for me, and they know it!

I'm not unable to feel transported into realms of utter selfless bliss though, I have located the sublime in adoration and submission. I assume it is some archaic survival strategy. I know that I can only prostrate myself in abject poverty and joy, saying (silently) take me, take me! Because I trust that this is safe. Real poverty, real need is terrible. And for some it may be drugs that open the door to this endless void of selfless bliss, for others, it will be found within a relationship. In the light of that quote at the top of the page, for some it is "The space Brothers". But, having read a lot of Jacques Vallee, I cannot see any evidence that security, sublimity or enlightenment can or will come from The space Brothers. Contact with them seems a very bad thing; whatever the actual experience really is; Milabs with their psychotronic devices, Collins Elite and their 'demons', or actual ET. 

Nope.

(Nope is worth a watch, by the way!)

Whatever the key, to bliss, the experience, is ultimately within us - and it's probably a lot easier to ignite it from without. This is my theory at the moment.

Hold tight, Ms Contrary and Tangential is in charge. I will turn words, recast and reframe. 

Read the quote again ...there is in many of us, obviously, a deep-seated desire to assent to external forces – to be embraced by them, overwhelmed by them, and if possible deprived by them of our own weary responsibility for ourselves. 

My experience is that there must be a power exchange to create the entry into sublimity- and the actual process of power exchange is very difficult to explain; it begins with choosing to explore the edges of  surrender and entitlement. A conscious and consensual transfer, handing one's sense of authority and privilege over, in exchange for the wisdom flash of understanding. What it gives is an experience of how it works. Seeing directly how daily assumptions about permission, and force operate. For me it has to be with another human.

Jacques Vallee understands this process of handing over responsibility as one of the prime danger with UFO cults, that the power exchange can end in insanity and death, as in Heaven's Gate, or the failure of Truthers to live and learn - denigrating humanity and our wealth of knowledge- imagining that basic love, kindness and humanity isn't as fantastic as 'what's really happening'.

But, experientially? 

The experience of submission is of merging with the soul of the world - or with my own soul? I'm not sure. My experience is that the loss of my sense of myself as an individual, is union with the sublime. Safety in restriction, safe contact with what terrifies...with that loss of self, no 'I'.

In his lectures the therapist had spoken of 'Courtly love' too many times for me to ignore. I know the power of dominance and submission, the power of intention. And I see Courtly love as the misogynistic version, where submission misses out the physical yearnings of the other. The beloved in such a system of denial, becomes a symbol to evoke pain, a source of endorphins. A cross to be crucified upon, a fire that can never be extinguished. Devotion, in this cultic belief system belongs to God alone - or rather to The Virgin. Due to culture, to power structures, to maintain order the lowly mistral can never have the beloved - so instead he will love her relentlessly and forever, as if she were the Holy virgin Mary...all his songs will be for her. 

As Manley Hall 1928 put it: 

"As regeneration is the key to spiritual existence, they therefore founded their symbolism upon the rose and the cross, which typify the redemption of man through the union of his lower temporal nature with his higher eternal nature."

Unconsummated, Eros.

The therapist never said that he was a religious man, quite the opposite. And I could not believe him! That was always a mystery. I imagined him experiencing a severe and final break with The Church for some reason, and no going back!

Capellanus ( 1184) in De amore:

It is the pure love which binds together the hearts of two lovers with every feeling of delight. This kind consists in the contemplation of the mind and the affection of the heart; it goes as far as the kiss and the embrace and the modest contact with the nude lover, omitting the final solace, for that is not permitted for those who wish to love purely.

Love purely? 

But - now bear with me - we are now on the outskirts of Goon town, or Edgeville. Eros without consummation, and a long way away from The Space Brothers (I hope!). Both Gooning and edging are quite a long way away too from 'fin'amor' in theory, but in practice? I'm not convinced. I think it amounts to practically the same thing. 

Prove me wrong!

Courtly love, or it's more noble cousin, fin'amor is desire, flirting, and yearning and pain. Pain is regarded as purification (I imagine?) but fundamentally, the forces preventing true union between the lovers, are culturally defined. Hierarchy is preserved, the threat of harm resulting from subverting 'Holy laws' is real - enforced by people who actually think harming others for the sake of religion is reasonable..

And the dreaded dual relationship he believed would be so detrimental - I want to shout "It couldn't be a dual relationship, I wasn't a client!" is assumed to cause a problem through power dynamics. Meanwhile of course, the refusal to be honest with me was the real abuse of power - yet the same logic that creates a concept of regression, denial and transference interprets a client, or me! Through asking a therapist, him! For honesty as subversive and transgressive attempting , by therapy logic, to be reversing the power imbalance...and I'm truly unclear how or why that's a problem?

“Any dual or multiple relationships will be avoided where the risks of harm to the client outweigh any benefits to the client”. (Good Practice, point 33b) The degree of harm that may be caused varies enormously, ranging from very little potential for causing distress, to extremely likely to cause significant and permanent harm which may not be immediately obvious and may take time to emerge. Power differentials require continual monitoring in any counselling relationship, and introducing a secondary relationship complicates this further and may intensify or reverse the power imbalance.

OK, I've been rambling, working out as I write what I think. To finish. To sum up! Eros is innate, and it is our attempt to experience the sublime - which is an intense experience characterised by a loss of self and union with the beloved; a sense of profound safety and transcendence. 

A consensual agreement to explore a power imbalance is one route into this state. It is not the only one, sometimes the power exchange is subliminal and automatically created by resonance.

Resonance between people occurs when they have something significant in common - a past experience - an unhealed, psychological wound.

When Eros as an innate capacity is used, it is used to preserve (goon or edge) the experience of yearning, it becomes an end in itself. No one else needs to be involved. The beloved may be on-the screen porn. An object. No possibility of communication.

When Eros is embraced the extra dimensions of communication with another person in the most naked and intimate of relationships fosters self-awareness, self-exploration, and self-acceptance.

And my argument is, that the therapist preserved yearning, in me, by refusing to be clear about his feelings. He enacted the very cruelty that objectified women in the name of the holy and sacred. And he created the very power dynamic that the ethical framework warns against.

So?

So!

So there we are.