Interlude.

Perhaps I'm in a tearing everything down mood. After my week off from navigating the complexity of what the NHS thinks therapy should be, the complexity of what parents want therapy to do for their child, and the child sat in front of me who just wants it all to be ok...I'd told admin and a fellow sessional counsellor that I was gone. Well, going. I'd planned to stop working there in October.

It doesn't help that the rooms are hotter than the sun. Pro-tip, have laptop continually in YouTube land, playing a vision of the sea, and the sound of the waves. 

It helps.

This is all I can do!

This morning, I'm in the other place and I got the room with air conditioning..and I'm  working with adults who want therapy, and I get half an hour to write my notes.

Bliss.

After my notes were done for this morning I went back to the letter to my manager at -hotterthanthesun  place, and changed what I'd written during my holiday. Draft one had said that I was leaving 

I don't feel like I am - but I know that I'm in the outer regions of burnout. Burnout isn't obvious at first, it shows up in multiple ways depending on you.

So why do I feel this way?

This morning held the clue. The contrast in my working conditions made such a difference to how I feel...

Being rational I know I need 30 minutes between clients. 

And, you know - in organisations that offer therapy, what I've said is heresy!

Something about if you can't cope with 10 minutes between clients, you have a problem because other therapists are fine!

How long have I been doing this? Five years and it's never been fine. 

A counselling hour is 50 minutes. 10 minutes after the client has gone filled with washing cups, tidy up cushions and write my notes.  Door bell and start again. Obviously just 10 minutes, which has been whittled down to five, isn't ideal.

And the actual reason for the 'therapy hour'?

50 minuites plus 10 is tidy for booking.

And half hour gaps make room allocations less efficient. 

This is about money. Not my money though. I'd still see the same number of clients if I started earlier, but I'd be blocking the room for 3 and a half hours of no fee for the hotterthanthesun's empty space.

So, we will see...

It could be I'm looking for a good reason to leave, like I've planted my flag. I fail to see how ten minuites between clients ever became the norm.

This weekend I'll get back to my complaint against 'Kit'

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